if i were in hell, i'd be...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

...

since last night, i have been rereading my previous blog entries. going back a couple of months, i couldn't help but miss what we used to have.

i know that it's been 9 months since we broke up. i have not forgotten that my friends have been pushing me to put more effort into getting over him, & i realize the wisdom of their counsel. i know that they not only mean well; they are also right. after all, i can't wallow in misery forever.

yes, i know that having loved & lost does not justify curling into a fetal position & wishing that the world would just go away & leave me alone in my despair. i know that i am not the only one who has gone through this, & that so many people before me have survived. i am also quite aware that at some point, the piercing pain would subside into a dull ache, & happy memories would begin to bring smiles once more, not by-products of my lachrymal glands. & i know that this phase is not easy. wow, that's probably the understatement of a lifetime.

i know that this is not easy because i am in this. i'm feeling the immense pain that comes with losing someone i love deeply. once in a while, i am hounded by "what if...?" questions. when i pass by places that have been "ours" at one point or another, i am flooded by memories of what used to be. & almost everytime that happens, i can't help but wish that i still had him with me.

a friend of mine said, "you will always go back to square one". how painful & true. did i already say painful? think about it. you put all your energy into trying to forget that he exists, and/or into trying to accept that what you had is gone. when something new, sad, happy, exciting, or boring happens to you, you make a conscious effort not to text or call him or to give him a blow-by-blow account of your life as it is at that moment. you may even let yourself be dragged to gimmicks that well-meaning friends have set up for you, though you are in "my life sucks & nothing can change that" mode.

after some time of pretending that you're okay, you realize that you can do without a big chunk of the pretending. surprise, surprise, you've made progress! there's significantly less pain in your chest, you feel a lot lighter, & the spring is back in your step. high five! pat on the back! *hug* your baby steps have actually brought you somewhere.

with this superb realization comes little flutters of panic. oh no, i'm actually starting to get over him! without meaning to, you find yourself singing along to lea salonga's, "let the pain remain" (on the count of three, one, two, three: let the pain remain forever in my heart / for every drop of it is one more moment spent with you / i'll let the pain / bring in all the rain / if that's the only way / if there's no other way to be with you again).

what did my friend say again? square one. back to where it all began.

in cooking heaven

i think that all of my high school friends know that i love to cook, & that i'm good at it. during our Christmas party in third year high school, i offered to bring lasagna, which turned out to be a hit with my classmates. the same was the fate of the mango cheesecake that i made for dianne's birthday a couple of years ago (nahuli ko pang sinisimot ni pat at tenten yung container na nasa sink na).

give me a recipe, ingredients & equipment, & more likely than not, i will be able to cook whatever is in the recipe. there goes the reason i was touted as "housewife material".

my major cooking frustration was that i couldn't learn baking because we didn't have an oven. but now, we have one!

last tuesday, i bought an elba gas range with oven as a gift for my family. it looks like this:



it was delivered yesterday afternoon. i already tried baking a dish of brownies this afternoon, & they turned out great! okay, i cheated because i used a brownie mix, but still! :)

i sure hope that i'll have enough time (& patience!) to practice baking in the next few weeks. i want to learn how to make brownies, pies, cookies, even cakes! who knows, i might be able to whip something yummy in time for Christmas. can't wait! :)

bugging you

got this from ate ria's blog. this bug is so cute, it didn't bug me at all.

click to enjoy! :)

vacation mode na! (medyo...)

i actually felt well today. yipee! i was able to go out & shop in southmall, & i made a major purchase. double yipee!

wala lang. masaya lang ako kasi okay na ang pakiramdam ko. i actually had to cancel a gimmick yesterday because of my headache. since okay na ako, let's reschedule! badz! ;)

kaso lang, i'm practically broke. kaya okay na ang level ng mcdo. haha!

= = = = = = = = = = =

to somehow make the rest of my fiscal year easier, i need to finish the following, hopefully while i'm still on vacation:

1. recruitment workflow
2. service head & senior sales executive recruitment matrix
3. service head & senior sales executive interview guide

waaah! ayoko munang gumawa ng trabaho!

my first day out of the office...

not really a happy way to start the week, as i had a horrible headache for more than 12 hours. argh. so, i was confined to activities that i could do while lying down (read: watching TV or a movie).

was able to watch the american president again. call me corny, but it made me cry. it really is one of my favorite movies, along with my bestfriend's wedding and my girl.

i then proceeded to 7 episodes of season 1 of grey's anatomy. overdose ba? haha! wala lang, i just wanted to know what it was about, as everyone seems to be into it. well, this quote from meredith in episode 4 stuck:

intimacy is a four-syllable word for, "here are my heart & soul. please grind into hamburger, & enjoy." it is both desired & feared, difficult to live with, & impossible to live without.

true, isn't it? at least, somewhat true.

on a lighter note, here's part of an email i got that really made me laugh:


kung pwede lang, no?

first day of vacation!

i'm finally pushing through with my mandatory, consecutive five-day vacation leave next week, from december 4 to 8. but since today is a holiday, my vacation has started. yehey! i slept through most of the day, but somehow managed to finish two books:



my other accomplishments for the day:
1. bought a whole chicken for lunch, and shared it with everyone.
2. ate at least 5 nestle milky bars.
3. ate a handful of grapes that i bought from our building's "fruit man" yesterday.
4. ate two minute burger cheeseburgers.

in other words, i accomplished nothing. haha! what a day!