Sunday, April 09, 2006

...

more often than not, i refuse to believe that some things can't or wouldn't be. experience has taught me that believing is seeing, that my faith will eventually turn my hopes and dreams into reality.

but there you were. a fateful encounter was all it took to shatter my perspective. where i once was certain, i am now unsure. when before, i would have trusted and hoped, i now hesitate.

how could i believe, when you were a contradiction? you say one thing, when your eyes seem to convey something else. you seem to keep your distance, but once in a while, you do inch my way.

to wait was all that i could do. enveloped in a constant barrage of “what ifs” and “maybes”, i found myself hoping. hoping in one moment, and then doubting at the next. hoping and doubting, hoping and doubting. a vicious stream of conflicting thoughts and feelings that, to give an understatement, left me confused.

fortunately, the long wait did end. and my prize was well worth the wait.

many moons have passed since then. the winds have shifted direction, and things are at a standstill. or are they really? maybe the end has come sometime ago, and i was just too preoccupied to notice.

things are at a standstill. i am at a standstill, left with no choice but to remain this way. (is there really no other way but this?)

for now, i’m going to wait. and hope that in the end, my prize will be well worth the wait.

4 comments:

Ria said...

i don't know if i read through this right but this was sad.. i love the way you weaved words together though. ang ganda :)

grace said...

i actually came up with this because i was quite sad. and i'm flattered that you of all people liked it. thank you, ate ria. :)

Anonymous said...

waiting is irritating especially to those not-so-patient persons... but even those type of people learn the value of patience if waiting involves the person they care for the most. its a big risk, coz after the long wait, you`ll just realize u wasted a lot of time, energy, effort and worse, emotions (in form of tears) BUT, who knows, it might be worth the wait after all. though it wouldnt hurt for you to be open to "other possibilities" whatever it is that you find at the end of the tunnel, something good will be waiting for you. you`re not the only one who`s waiting you know... :) cheer up!

grace said...

naks tin, ang haba! pang-email to, hindi lang pang-comment. hehehe...:) pero salamat, sobra. ;)