just thinking

in our party last week, i told embryo about some of the decisions that i've made in the past two years. on second thought, it must be more appropriate to say that i told them how i handled the nerve-wracking events of my past two years - my realizations, the things i said, etc.

it's been a long time, & it's very weird that i only told them the story now. after all, we are pretty tight, it's our style to talk things over, & the experiences i went through are not easy to go through alone. but i guess that's just my way of dealing with the cards dealt to me. & i guess i was only able to tell them the story now because i can now do so in a detached manner. because lately, i've started being happy again. it took me a long while to get here, you know.

so i can't help but feel so flattered that they approve of the way i handled things. 'ika nga ni john, "top 1 sa academics, top 1 sa buhay". nakakatawa kasi habang nagkekwento ako, sobrang in-affirm nila yung decisions ko. feeling ko tuloy, asa pedestal ako. sabi kasi ni eloi, tumaas daw ang respeto niya sa 'kin. eloi & je-ann even memorized some of my lines. je-ann went further by saving it on her phone so she won't forget. haha. :)

i don't remember who said it anymore, but i was told that i am proof that intelligent people are not necessarily stupid in affairs of the heart. sabi nga ni kamille, rational daw ako. nagagamit ko yung talino ko sa pagdedesisyon. sabi niya, hindi ako yung tipong matalino pero wala lang.

funny talaga yung reactions nila. looking back, i don't even know how i managed to say the right things in what deirdre has coined, "pressure cooker moments". siguro, pasalamat na lang ako kay Lord kasi binigyan niya ako ng grace under pressure.

because of their questions, i realized one thing: i make decisions on my own. i rarely ask for advice. i don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but that's the way i do it. i only ask for advice after i've made my choice, & i need help in dealing with the aftershocks of that choice.

so far, it has been working for me. i can't recall a decision that i regretted for years & years on end. sure, there were those i cried about for a while. but even when i was crying about those, i knew that i made the right choice, & that things will turn out well in time.

haha, grabeng pagbubuhat na ito ng bangko. but in the end, all i really want to say is, "thank you for the affirmation." i really needed it, you know. ;)